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1105 days ago
Jess routinely gives me crap for not being more diligent in updating the blog and has decided to usurp control and add entries herself. Problem is that I control the key to the kingdom!!! Or more specifically, the space is part of my account, which means she must continue to bug my lazy ass to get updates posted. The updates below are from the last couple months and cover the gamut from mundane to downright mind-numbing. Saturday Sept 23 rd We brought the aspiring organic farmers to a spot where we pay for the right to pick fruit. Seems like a genius idea to me ... load up on cow manure, sprinkle some seeds then let the dumb schmucks pay you to pick your fruit. Makes child labor seem like a waste of money. They even charge for entry to the place ... which begged the obvious question - why the hell am I paying Farmer Bob $2 for a 15 month old child to walk around and torment the farm animals?? While the answer was not immediately obvious it ...
1225 days ago
We take it for granted and forget that it is one of life's little pleasures ... taking a dump or going for a piss in a toilet, in relative peace and with some good reading material on hand. Having young children I am quickly reminded of the arduous road we all took, the mountain we had to climb when it came to taking a dump in a toilet and not in our pants. For the better part of a year Jess and I have labored in vain to get Sarah to "go potty on the toilet". It seems like such a straight forward concept - pull down your pants, sit, grunt a little, feel the satisfying splash as poop meets water, then finish with a simple little wipe. We could get as far as step 2 with her but the actual process of pushing the piss and shit out was just not happening. So we did what all parents do at one time or another ... we gave up. Truth be told, Sarah developed a slight bout of constipation. Most parents come to a realization early on that they are delivering psychologically ...
1253 days ago
It would seem that birthdays are akin to major holidays when a child is involved. During the months of April, May and June the Fraser house becomes cake central with 3 birthday and an anniversary ... and I think Mothers Day is squeezed in there somewhere too. Gearing up for the birthday marathon requires equal parts patience and stamina, not to mention an extra notch or two in the belt after I eat 15 pounds of cake. Brennan turned 1 on June 25th and in the Fraser homestead all birthdays are celebrated with equal parts exuberation and decoration. Lets face it, kids think birthdays are synonomous with balloons, hats, streamers, cake and the all-important presents. Jess and I, having passed the age of majority and with no milestones worth celebrating yearly because the realization has set in that we are marching ceaselessly towards our death (cheery huh?), have since focused our efforts on the kids and play down our own "one year closer to being ashes" yearly ...
1301 days ago
The mundane nature of our existence does not lend itself well to exciting revelations or inspired authoring, but getting the gaggle of women off my back has provided ample motivation. Upon checking the date of the last blog entry, I was surprised to find that 3 months has elapsed since I bothered to put fingers to keyboard and update the masses on what has transpired inside the walls of the asylum. Sarah is a late comer to the “terrible twos” but seems to relish the role. She has taken to whining, temper tantrums and use of the word “no” with a zeal that is impressive if only for the consistency in which she uses it. There are glimpses of our happy, content little girl, but I think she merely lulling us into a false sense of security before dropping the hammer. Our initial worry that she was not communicating well has been laid to rest. She is now able to speak in full sentences and is adequately, dare I say vehemently, articulating her displeasure with ...
1405 days ago
Mark Twain once wrote that "Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was, that they escaped teething.". Truer words were never spoken. The similarities in our children seem to end with the fact that they both have blond hair and regular bowel movements. We have recently come to realize that, in addition to his high maintenance 'I want it now" attitude and penchant for waking up at 5am, Brennan is much like me and has a low tolerance for pain. Sarah had a severe case of rosy red cheeks when she teethed but did not make so much as a peep. Brennan has opted to wake up in the middle of the night and remind everyone within a 2 mile radius that he is in pain and that someone in the freaking house should get off their ass and solve this problem! Now some people are opposed to the use of Anbesol because it works something like a local anesthetic you get when you visit the dentist. I think the fact that he probably can't feel his lips and therefore ...
