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877 days ago
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!" "Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!" "Actually," said the 80-year-old, "80 is the worst age of all!" "Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old. "No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all." "Do you have trouble crapping?" asked the 70-year-old. "No, I crap every morning at 6:30." With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's ...
900 days ago
An old man lived alone in a village. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation. Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison . Love, Dad Shortly, the old man received this Telegram - "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden. That's where I buried the GUNS" at 4a.m. The next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next. ...
900 days ago
Most men like women. But, most men like beer too ! So, for men it becomes a rather confusing choice between women and beer ! Following is a debate, .... to help you analyze which is better ! Here is the debate ........ A Beer is always wet, a woman is not ! 1 point for beer ! Beer is horrible, when it is hot ! 1 point for women ! A cold beer, satisfies you ! 1 point for beer ! If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you. If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for sure and she might even not talk to you again ! Draw ! ( Depends on your point of view ... ) 10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night and you don't have to drive anywhere ! 1 point for women ! The older, The beer is - the better, it is ! 1 point for beer ...>
921 days ago
A jobless man applied for the position of "office boy" at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test. "You are employed."He said." Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start."The man replied "But I don't have a computer, neither an email."I'm sorry", said the HR manager, "If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job." The man left with no hope at all. He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate.He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the Operation three times, and returned home with $60. The man realizedthat he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late Thus, ...
927 days ago
A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of a restroom facility, but each time he tried, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the attendants' ladies room but cautioned him not to press any of the buttons. When he arrived in the attendants' ladies room, next to the paper roll there were four buttons marked: WW, WA, PP, and ATR. Making the mistake so many men make of not listening to a woman, he disregarded what she said when his curiosity got the best of him. He carefully pressed the WW button, and immediately a gentle flush of Warm Water sprayed onto his bare bottom. He thought, "Wow, these gals really have it nice!" So a little more boldly, he pressed the WA button, and body temperature Warm Air blew across his wet bottom and dried it comfortably. "Aha," he thought, "no wonder these women take so long in the bathroom with these kinds of services!" So he pushed the ...
