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495 days ago
Right will never conquer might. Might is too strong. Islam will never take over the world. There are too many Jews and too many Hindus for that to ever happen. Gentle Jesus meek and mild will never inherit the earth. There are too many atheists who will never convert. Buddha will never be top dog. He is too serene to fight for that position. Neither the right wing nut jobs nor the left wing looney tunes will ever successfully revolutionize the U.S.A. There will always be too many unpatriotic, godless, America-hating, tree-huggers brainwashed by the liberal media, and too many abortion doctor-killing, war-mongering, family value-pandering, homophobic, cold-hearted fascists brainwashed by the conservative media, for any kind of real change to occur in this country. Adam and Eve will just have to make room for Adam and Steve and Bertha and Genevieve, because gays and lesbians are here to stay, and all of the puritanical repression in the world ain't gonna stop them. Religion ...
844 days ago
A few years ago, I was experiencing severe toothaches where the simple act of chewing would send agonizing pains shooting through my neck, my jaw, my teeth, and my skull. In this fucked up macho-driven world, it is a sorry thing for a man to admit he's in pain, especially in front of women, who do not esteem him for his honesty but feel nothing but contempt, even if they feign pity. Since I could not see the dentist until Monday, I endured these pains for a few days, seriously contemplating a bullet in my brain to end the suffering. Suicide was out of the question, so I took pain killers to ease the situation. I have met some sympathetic gentle dentists in my life, a few that were not judgmental sadistic self-righteous pieces of cowshit, but the nice ones were few and far between. I popped a piece of gum in my mouth so I wouldn't inflict my bad breath on anyone in the dentist office, and chewed on the other side of my mouth to avoid the screaming pains. Without complaining, ...
894 days ago
If God ever takes a vacation and puts me in charge for a while, here are a few changes I would make in the world. People would still have free will, but I wouldn't be so laissez-faire, which is to say, non-existent. I would turn all guns into pogo sticks, and all bullets into jelly beans. If you eat too many jelly beans, you can work off the extra calories on your pogo stick. If you don't care for jelly beans, you can help yourself to a tuna sandwich. Every time someone pushes a button to fire a deadly missile, a jet of water will squirt in their faces. This would be a nice gentle reminder that firing missiles is naughty. All those huge metal tanks would be turned into plastic and shrunk down so kids could play with them. They can still play with them as adults, since there won't be any real tanks to kill people. Anyone who wants to stab another person will certainly have free will to pick up a knife and try to kill their intended victim, but as soon as they ...
902 days ago
It would be impossible to judge the actual percentage rate, but I have spent the last 42 years of my life saying and doing so many dumb things, 10% may be about right. Who knows how many brain cells I have killed from drinking and drugging and eating tuna sushi? My memory gets worse and worse every year, and yet I can recall with pinpoint accuracy just about every humiliating defeat I would very much like to forget. I call these moments "the cringe." When I think of something I said or did a few years or a even a few decades before, and I actually cringe as if it had just happened yesterday. It doesn't really matter to me that no one else remembers these moments. I believe they managed little by little year by year to turn me into the spineless worm I am today. There are times when I look at the world and I think how utterly stupid other people are; other times I look at myself and I think, how come I can't do that simple little thing, and everyone else can? Why is ...
