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245 days ago
今天看电视，讲季羡林。讲他如何勤奋的做学问，画面里背景大概是北大的某个角落。 突然想起那种感觉。一种在记忆很深很深出盖满尘土的感觉。在老旧的校园里，树边，也许池水边，天色明亮，那种可以让人坐下来看书的闲适、安静、简单和平静。这种感觉似乎离自己已经好远好远好远好远了。 那种感觉在我的体验中似乎只有北京的老旧校园里才有。简单的生活，简单的人，简单的目的和简单的方式。图书馆、食堂、路边的凳子，没有让人选不过来的美食，没有绚烂的电视节目，没有人谈论股票、房价、汽车和金融危机。没有人会告诉你他的月薪、他的车、他的房，你也就不会去考虑你的月薪、你的车、你的房。我们都住集体宿舍，也许他住四人一间，我住七人一间，又能有多大区别呢，我们都不会为此而烦心。 如果你遇到一个兴趣共通的，坐坐走走的聊一聊，可以聊很久，一天，一个星期。如果没有，就不用说什么，总能找到地方，在你闭嘴的时候，你就是安静的，而不会闭上自己的嘴，也躲不过其他人嘴里的嘈杂。 那个时候有时间、有心境、有耐性。大学必须要成那个样子，出了那个样子，是做不出学问的。 有种闲适或忙碌，是因环境而生，长在心里的。现在我还没有上班，有的是时间，要是不想做什么真可以一整天都没事情做，但却是在过去在学校里最忙时都没有过的紧张和压力之中。我说怎么今天在电视里看到那一个画面，感觉像是梦一样的。 这些东西肯定跟环境有关，但不知道到跟时间背景有没有关系，不知道今天还在北京那些校园里的人，还有没有那种享受了。
343 days ago
男人其实挺孤独的。 我一说这句话肯定就会有很多人发笑。呵呵。首先，真正的男人大多是不会用“男人是...”这样的句式的，再加上这是一句对做男人的感慨，更让人觉得这明显不是一句男人说出来的话，明显是一个还没长大的男孩以自己幼稚的方式假扮成熟。算是吧。呵呵。 我以为男人也是人，同时也一直相信了所谓“人生来平等”这样的美丽理想。但是现实中发现在很多关系中，这两个信条的联合运用，其后果是悲剧性的。那么从逻辑上来说，必然是这两个信条的其中之一，或二者皆是，有问题的。 的确男人因为体质特征与女人不同，此点作为最初的因素分化了男女的社会分工，而随着所谓社会进步，性别分工越来越大，男人从分工角色的不同逐渐变为责任不同，义务不同，（当然不可否认的享受的权利也大不相同）。作为一个 并不 反社会的男性，我理解并接受男人在社会家庭所承载的责任和义务，但是明显我对所需要承载的东西并不完全了解，也不断的有新发现。 之所以觉得男人孤独，是因为在很多情境下，男人需要，也必须，以 一个人 的状态存在。而且我发现，从 陪伴者是人 的角度来说，确实，真的是， 一个人 。家庭、伴侣、朋友这些通常获得分享、分担、支持、理解的因素，当然作用依然并会一直存在，但是我们会发现在某一天，一个声音对你说，够了啊，差不多就行了，那些东西获得的差不多就行了，是有个度的，而在另一天会发现，这个度其实不大，而且对一个男人来说，会越来越小。 ...
385 days ago
Today went the Andrew's group. I was sitting on the one side of the sofa. Two years ago, one evening on this very place, I made the commitment to the Lord, from that moment, my life and myself have been changed. At the end of meeting, Lynette told everyone about my leaving. Some people are new to me and only spent several months with me, some have been knowing me for one year, and for some it has been two years we support and care each other. When Lynette was speaking, she almost cried and nearly couldn't finish. Then everyone came around me and prayed for me. When I finally left the house, I gave Lynette and big hug, tears running out of my eyes, I couldn't say anything, just waved goodbye to everyone. I don't know how I'm going to cope with it, hehe. Tomorrow, in Jen's place, I would be expecting some embarrassed moment that speaking with tears and weird voice. On Friday it's Chinese Fellowship, Zhengzhong told me today there would be a surprise. Sunday in the Church, ...
386 days ago
My dear friends, my dear brothers and sisters in Christ Thank you all so much for this evening. It was really a huge surprise. It was the whole cell there, what better dinner I would expect? It's a perfect ending, with the friends who have been closely supporting, caring and loving me in the past two years, in a Chinese restaurant (which probably is the best in Coventry), representing the lovely character of our relationship and our cell, a wonderful mixing nationality and culture character, which is the reason why we call ourselves, the International Cell. I love this cell, this is my cell, and this is my church. I don't know what I can say to you guys. I think a enormously big THANK YOU is the only thing I can say to you for the past two years, for every piece of unforgettable memory. Thank everyone of you, for the lovely gifts. You guys have been my blessing in these two years, and will still be in the future, through all your lovely gifts, your precious friendship and all your ...
389 days ago
Green field Once there were green fields, Kissed by the sun. Once there were valleys, Where rivers used to run. Once there were blue skies, With white clouds high above. once they were part of, An everlasting love. We were the lovers who, Strolled through Green Fields. Green fields are gone now, Parched by the sun. Gone from the valleys, Where rivers used to run. Gone with the cold wind, That swept into my heart. Gone with the lovers, Who let their dreams depart. Where are the green fields, That we used to roam? I'll never know what, Made you run away. How can I keep searching When dark clouds hide the day.. I only know there's, Nothing here for me. Nothing in this wide world, Left for me to see. Still I'll keep on waiting, Until you return. I'll keep on waiting, Until the day you learn. You can't be happy, While your heart's on the roam, You can't be happy Until You bring it home. Home to the green fields And me once again. I know I did the right ...
