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956 days ago
I first heard it from a very good but old friend. "The truth comes out when your drunk" people can say mean and hurtful things when they have alcohol in them...liquid courage to say the things you normally would not say when you were sober. But people can also go to the opposite end of the spectrum and speak the nice truth. They can say nice, good, sweet things that they maybe dont express enough when they are sober for either fear of how other people will react or thinking they may get hurt for some reason. The evil truth hurts but sometimes the nice truth is needed. Tonite I was reminded how no matter how frequently people express their emotions it doesnt matter...they feel that way all the time. Sometimes theres a time to express these feelings. And other times you just dont. People have a side to them that is often hidden. Its who they truly are but its not who they portray themselves to be. And sometimes all you see is the side that you know and you ...
987 days ago
Sometimes I just have to remind myself of things. Things that sometimes I forget and sometimes I just have to pull myself back into reality and remind myself that everything is okay and that nothing has changed. Sometimes I dont know why I tell people the things I do...or write them the things I do. Because when I dont get a response back I wonder. I wonder if they read it...I wonder if it meant something to them. I wonder if they care. Sometimes I just need confirmation on things so I know for myself the truth. I dont know sometimes I just feel like its wasted time. This is when I have to remind myself that even without confirmation and without talking about something I have to know that people do understand and that it does mean something to them. I have to know if they read it or aknowledged it that its in their head. And thats all I really wanted...was for people to know what I think. Then theres other times that I have to remind myself that no matter ...
1008 days ago
What means the world to me? Its rather interesting the way I got thinking about this question. I heard the song "What Means The World To Me" by Ludacris, Cam'rom, Trina etc. And I began thinking about what means the world to me, what I really need to make it thru each day and what I need to make me happy. And this is what I've thought of so far What means the world to me? Nites with my friends that I probably wont remember. Stars. Driving for miles. Going to Victoria and Vancouver. My friends. My family. Beer and vodka. WEED. Days with my friends where we do absolutly nothing but lay around and had more fun than most other days. Comfy beds. Sunshine. Ability to have freedom. Not being controlled. Money. Purses. Necklaces rings and bracelets. Music. Days off. Perfume. Laughter. Smiling. Hoodies and sweaters. Jeans. Flip flops. Ice cream. Traveling and road trips. Pictures. Videos. My computer. Dancing. Secrets. Truth. Honesty. Letters ...1010 days ago
I probably shouldnt be writing this. I probably should be sleeping. And everyone thinks I'm sleeping. I dont know why I'm writing this...I felt like I need to. My eyes are burning, 14 hours of sleep over 3 days does stuff to ones mind. But its like I cant sleep no matter what I cant get myself to go to bed. And its not that I cant fall asleep its like I cant make myself even get to the bed. Why when I'm this tired do I not do the right thing and that is to sleep? Makes no sense! Its like I fear being alone or something or not awake. Like I'll miss something...I dont know what it is. I feel like my mind and thoughts are twisted and and knotted and tangled up and I'm trying to untangle them and make it all straight again but I cant. Its so much effort and just as I'm about to get the last few knots undone new ones show up again out of no where and I dont even know why they are there. Its just this never ending job. I discover and I think and I believe that ...
