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281 days ago
Dad is back in the hospital. One of the maintainence chemos (administered in the hospital) knocked him out of commission for a bit. First his kidneys started failing, they're finally back on the mend, and now he has a nasty chest infection. The main thing the chemo does is stops cell production, so Dad's throat, mouth and lips are extremely and most painfully sore. With the cells unable to replicate his throat, mouth and lips can't heal. Which means he can't swallow and the constant coughing up of fluid is wrecking havoc. Oy vey. I'm still exhausted and Dad being ill adds more stress which compounds my exhaustion. Anyway, suddenly Dad can't be alone in the hospital which means I'm there longer than I should be. But he's my dad, what else would I do? On top of that, it seems my strength of sleep med isn't working out anymore. I dread increasing the dosage because there's only so far I can go with this med. After I hit the max and it no longer works what else is ...
317 days ago
Dad continues to recover though he is losing more and more hair each day. His maintainence chemo continues, we misunderstood the doctor thinking chemo was over. However, I've been sick for almost a week now and haven't been able to see dad as he can't risk an infection. Thankfully my in-laws have been driving him around.
321 days ago
Dad is officially in remission! He needed a blood transfusion this week which has helped him out greatly. I don't know if another one will be required, not a big deal if he does. Actually his body will now be able to replenish its blood supply without worrying about the leukemia and chemo destroying what it makes. I can't tell you how much of a rollarcoaster this has been for me. I was constantly swinging between calm and peaceful to depressed and afraid. Quite tiring. I feel a bit feckless, like I should have had faith during the bad times too but I let my fear win out every time. Hopefully lesson learned. Anyway, we are through the worst and hopefully it will be a good long while before the leukemia returns.
326 days ago
Good news. Dad's leukemia is going into remission! So unexpected but very welcomed. So just five days left of chemo. Then a lumbar pick to make sure the cancer didn't travel to the spinal canal. After that a biopsy of bone marrow to officially say the leukemia is in remission. Happy day!!
329 days ago
Well the chemo has officially kicked in. Dad is weak and very tired, he lost his appetite and his mouth is so sensitive that even if he had an appetite it's hard to eat. But his spirit is still there, so that's the good thing. Also his white blood count is 0.6 (it should be in the 4.0 - 11.0 range) which means he can't fight any type of infection no matter how minor so we're all extremely careful wearing masks and washing our hands and disinfecting surfaces or just calling him when we have any type of cold symptoms. And of course my fear of losing him has resurfaced. I don't recall ever being so fearful in all my life. Maybe dreading a class because I didn't do a project or facing my parents with a bad report card but nothing like this. My dad tells me I'm trying to do things (like calm my fear) with my head when I need to be doing it with my heart. I know he's right but...
