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1582 days ago
Whispered words screaming in my ears as I sleep. Disturbing the slumber of fairies dancing perhaps the silver I needed yes, I committed murder but what else could I do? Punk's never been pretty, it would never allow me to… Now my face has puffed up eyes possessed by toxic tears scorching soggy cheeks I've never felt so pretty prettier than in the dress with black leather gloves embracing my wary hands holding the microphone of truth I wish you knew me I'll accept the daggers graciously because I have to I'll accept the daggers graciously because I want to bleed respectfully I ask you to know defiantly I am not ready to go my angels kissed your forehead tonight did you feel them? They want you to know me and so do I. -- Inspired by the words of Jon and Andrew Farris Tonight after my performance of "Rock the Casbah"
1583 days ago
Wow! I am so happy with the clinic. It was extremely useful. I am amazed that during “People Are Strange” you couldn’t see my face at all!!! When Tim commented that I should not hide my face my thought was “ I’m not here to model-I’m here to rock” but now I completely understand what he meant. I wore a bandana for “ I Hate Myself For Loving You” because Tim made that comment but honestly, had he not, I would’ve worn my hair down. I like having the messy rock-n-roll hair but I now understand how it can take away from my performance. I like to sing and speak through my eyes and they weren’t seen. I’ll have to find a way to show my eyes without always having my hair back. Also, I think Garry made a great point about me standing more upright when I perform and not always crouched down. I am extremely thankful for their feedback and I can’t wait for our next performance – it's as if a light just went on inside of me. God – it feels good!!!! I got my first song choice for the ...
1584 days ago
I hope that anger is not the main factor as to why right now I am having a hard time with JD. I sincerely hope I can see the light in this situation as well and not let my personal sorrow interfere with logic. JD has many beautiful traits. I hope he chooses to show them more often. Ok, listen like thieves and let’s see how many INXS song titles you recognize in this journal entry: I’ve had a pretty emotional past few days. I hate when the devil inside takes over. It’s the one thing that drives me mad. It makes me want to disappear into my own little world, battle the original sin, and then come out swinging and ready to kick everyone in the head with love. We all need a new sensation every now and then. This time an angel slept by my side and whispered sweetly in my ear “baby girl- here is what you need to always remember: don’t lose your head. Don’t’ change you know you are a beautiful girl! All of you, every single person is a gift and the universe needs you tonight ...
1589 days ago
I am finding myself in unfamiliar territory tonight. I'm not quite sure what to make of it. Tonight was the night that J.D. made his infamous comment about how all of us are just learning the INXS songs while he already knows them. My whole life I have seen the light in a situation and focused on people’s positive attributes as opposed to their weaknesses or darkness. I am finding it hard to do that right now and it bothers me. I'm doing some self-reflection as to why I am at my whits end with J.D. There is so much love and positivity amongst all of us and it seems that he continuously ruins that. Of course, I feel for him and I don't think he is intentionally trying to be an ass but I'm bothered that every time he gets in one of his moods, the beauty in this house is disrupted. If I dig deep and am completely honest, it's possible that my low tolerance has to do, ironically, with my fathers' death. My father was an honest and beautiful man who continuously got the short end of the ...
1590 days ago
I had so much fun performing "People Are Strange". It’s such a fantastic song to play around with. When I found out I was doing the song I was immediately had the image of a Rock-n-Roll circus - so my outfit was in the vein of 'vixen ring master'. That's what I was going for and I hope it came across that way. I really wanted the guy that I gave the hat to during the performance to keep it. But he wasn't able to for various reasons out of my control. If he is reading this - I just want him to know that I really wanted him to have it and I'm sorry it got taken away. 10:00 pm - Let me set the scenario for you: MiG sits with his notebook, most likely writing about his beautiful wife, Jordis lays down nearby - most likely thinking about how much she misses her man; Heather and Suzie jamming silently with a "I am woman hear me roar" acoustic bluesy Nashville sound; J.D. and Brandon politicking about what this all means; Ty and Tara cuddled up nearby soaking it ...
