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301 days ago
Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges wh atever is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.'
366 days ago
The Dog's Diary 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing! 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing! 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing! 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing! 12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing! 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing! 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing! 5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing! 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing! 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing! The Cat's Diary Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust ...
473 days ago
I was asked recently... if a pic of a mans ass turned me on... I said NO. Butt... (pun intended) whats does turn me on (and I didnt say this to him) is... an agressive hand on my body.... undress me... pull my panties off where I can fell your hands as you slide them over my hips... pull my top off over my head... messing up my hair.... kiss my neck as you tongue your way down to nipples to suck hard on. Slip your hard worked finger(s) into my pussy... as you slide your tongue down along my belly towards my pussy.... escaping that ... and down my thighs... take your hands and pull my clit hood up and bite it softly... make me scream a lil ..please... again and again... Mmmmm.... roll me over... lick my ass... spank it a lil... spread my pussy lips... and fuck me doggy style... Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm That's my short version ;)~
495 days ago
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger alien addressed it saying, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.' The gas pump, of course, didn't respond. The younger alien became angry at the lack of response. The older alien said, 'I'd calm down if I were you.' The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again, there was no response. Annoyed by what he perceived to be the pump's haughty attitude, he drew his ray gun and said impatiently, 'Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Do not ignore us this way! Take us to your leader or I will fire!' The older alien again warned his comrade saying, 'You probably don't want to do that! I really don't think yo u should make him mad.' 'Rubbish,' replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon at the pump and opened fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared ...
