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26 days ago
好朋友，一个了解我超过我想象的老朋友，又给了我一堂课。最近在决定很多事，要不要读PhD, 要不要以此为生，要认认真真的不再玩世不恭，还是继续我自由自在放肆任性的生活？ 他一直努力认真的生活工作，除此之外，大概他算是世界上另一个自己了吧。 从此不再逃避残酷的现实，踏实的工作学习生活。 说起求大同存小异，说起自我反省，成长，说起从前的不成熟，好像那是一个人的所作所为了，哈哈。希望几年之后，依旧有“清澈的眼神”。 国内的很多事，都是让人难过绝望的，但是我的朋友们一直都在努力生活，也希望有一天，我们可以创造一些不同，make a better world out of this one. 大概，我的朋友们，真的是惊喜不断吧。
139 days ago
想了很久，也许是太多 issue ，不知道从何谈起，关于中美文化差异也好，美国文化本身也好。既然不能一下理清自己的思路，就一点一点地说，一次一个观点吧。 关于美国文化。自大，自以为是， 自动自觉地把埃及，希腊，整个欧洲的社会进化，思想，文化，艺术甚至科学城就算成是自己的。虽然，可能他们试图，也真得很真诚很努力的理解继承， however to be frank, 美国人并不是这些文化的所有者，甚至对他们的理解与体会并没有他们 suppose 那样的理所当然。在我的 knowledge system 里，一种文化的背景， especially ancient ones ， 来自于那里的山水，那里的自然环境。而更深层的东西，民族的个性，是与严酷的，残忍的，无情的 nature disaster 和阶级的压迫，思想的局限和束缚，低俗的 ,ridiculous 的习俗都有无法分割的关系的。而从 Egypt, Greece, Rome 到 renaissance from Italy to Revolution in France, modern philosophy in Germany, improved society system of limited monarchy in Britain, 每一个单独文化的辉煌与最有优势的那一部分都被美国人认为是自己的文化的一部分，然而这是绝对绝对的臆想，自以为是。每个民族都有其固有的局限，造就了另一个方面非凡的成就。 British 比较 France 在文学上的成就是更加真诚与古典的 , Irish 在二十世纪初的文学领域继承发扬这种特质，甚至加入了更加深沉浪漫苦涩的色调。 I am a huge fun of Irish and British music, 但是那种 folk music 是无法与 Vienna 宫廷里的 symphony orchestra concert 相提并论的，那里诞生了 Mozart and Beethoven; Italian’ fine art occupy the place of world No. 1 in the early modern age, ...
190 days ago
Habbit is something you could not notice you have unless you do not have the access anymore. I am running out the bottled ink I brought here and the idea that I would only write with those fluid, non-angle ballpens freaked out. I could not relax, and cannot help but search the blue-black bottled ink on line and look for it in local stationary stores thess two days. It is a shock to me. Basically I thought I am not absorbed in anything concrete seriously, and nothing has the ability to make me chasing after endlessly and enchantedly other than books, movies and music, for the first time in my life, there is something I would love to collect -- vintage fountain pens and inks. In all of those shopping malls ,huge branched specialized diverse stores, I cannot find an real pen or bottled ink on the shelves. Yes, they are kind of out-of-date, but still, they are useful and unique. I love the feeling of scrub between paper and the nib. I had not fancy but good pens but never a fine, ...
200 days ago
实验室很多的朋友都是今年毕业，全校的毕业典礼是在Capitol Hill 和Washington Monument之间的 National Mall 的草地上举行，所以这两天都去凑了个热闹。相对国内的来说，讲话和程序都显得简短实在，甚至包括最重要的commencement address(White House Chief of stuff 讲的，我们的校友)， 也是十几分钟而已。比较让人感动的是，在学院的毕业典礼上，所有人都要上前接受学位，和国内找代表上台实在是大不一样啊。个人觉得，讲话中最让我受益的是，Do not consider so much about whether or not be suitable to be it, just do it. It is from one of the awarded English Assistance Professor, second is from the honored PhD of Fine Art (whose career has changed dramatically through his whole life) -- making your calling something greater than just about yourself and making the world a better place, and the last is commencement address, we all make mistakes but the failure makes the success. The coincidence is that on last Friday, when I asked Remash (my boss, kind of) how could she went through total 10 years from medical school to an interventional cardiologist from Iran to USA， she said she never planed to be a cardiologist at the first place, just do her best at what she was supposed ...
213 days ago
终于鼓起勇气看断背山了。 有很多事，确实需要一定的阅历才能开始理解吧。 李安讲出的不仅仅是同性之间的感情，是感情，是人生的活法。虽然，确实压抑，但是真实。无阻碍的感情，有多少是真实的。每个人在外表风光下都有着苦。有那些苦，也不见得是坏事。逃避，大概更可怕吧。一个人离去，一个人的放荡，一个人的一时兴起，留下的是另一个人一辈子的守候。
