Content Preview: rss
2 days ago
we brought red pony to show my family; everyone was really happy. grandma gave the most professional comment - she always surprises us she is an amazing woman. i said grandma you are a cool grandma. she asked, 'what does cool mean?' i wanted to explain but in vain - how could you use other words to explain a most basic word? everyone 'um'ed and 'ah'ed, but couldn't find a good way to explain. so we laughed. grandma laughed, too. i highly suspected that she actually knew but was just teasing us. grandma was born in may, 1919. at the age of 87, two years after my grandpa left, she finally gave in to leave her independent life and moved to live with my parents. it is more of a great joy for me to go home, because i can get to see my parents and grandma at the same time. ever since i was a child i have never stopped harassing her for stories happened in 'the old time'. now i am heading towards 30, when i am with grandma i am still a greedy child as i used to be, asking for ...
11 days ago
i'm sitting in a park. ten minutes to mid-day. i'm early for an appointment. the sun is good. the snow on the bushes is melting, a contrast of white and green. i squint, in satisfaction, letting the sun wrap me. the sky is blue and tall, my thoughts afar. the doubt in my heart. it is melting, too. winter, a sunny winter day, is a good time to sort things straight, to realise how simple things can be.
17 days ago
she lies there, so quiet and so small i almost walked past without noticing her. but there she is, covered in the blanket that pretty much hides her underneath. i stopped. i was attracted by her eyes. in another room, in a city that is very far, i saw a pair of eyes that had the same shine. i often wonder this shinny black, can they be seen in the deepest of night? i just teased her by standing near, and looked and smiled to her. when i moved, her eyes followed. for such a tiny body, the eyes were too big to ignore. and as i said, the shine. it seemed that they contained all the energy and life and hope. the black marble. the eyes with so much concentration they followed my moves i found myself unable to disconnect my attention. i reach out and touch her fingers, like i am carefully playing a piano, one finger after another. she looks at her fingers. she looks back at me with surprise and curiosity. her hands are cold. my eyes warm up. i remember the ...
20 days ago
black, dark, cold, too big a scarf and hat and gloves and two pairs of socks. november frost jumps, it bites. it hid in the shade and boom, it surprises, with a vicious smile on the face. i used to hate, i used to loathe winter. but now i'm inclined to a compromise. it's inevitable. it's a test. now, it's more of a routine. but in the night, before i dive into the warm bed, my eyes drift to that stone, lying quietly on the side table, perfectly content, lost in one of its memories back in the south, where there were birds, and bamboo forests, and round mountains, and a clear river that sings. my smooth stone, it closes its eyes in the soft lamp light, glowing with a thin layer of mist that it gained from my touching - i held it in my hands through mountains and clouds. it nested in my veins it danced with my pulse it bathed in my body temperature. my stone's glow grows thicker the lamp light, dimmer. a humming somewhere. a raftman is punting ahead. the ...
97 days ago
you rule if you stretch your body. stretch! the contradiction is that you can't really free your body like that when you are not sure what to do. so there goes the old chinese saying 'practice makes perfect' (the translation doesn't sound chinese) from that old oil vendor who could pour oil into a bottle through the tiny hole in the middle of a coin. i practise and practise. i'm not afraid of water, that much. i can swim now. not a master but without any aid. i'm fucking chuffed!
