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1180 days ago
Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt. You know what's not natural? Eighty year old dudes with hard ons. That's not natural, but we've got pills for that. We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect but we're putting people in jail for smoking something that grows in the dirt? You know, we have more prescription drugs now than ever. Every commercial on TV is a prescription drug ad. I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking i have five serious diseases. Like, "Do you ever wake up tired in the mornings?" Oh my god, I have this, write this down! Whatever this is, I have this! Half the time you don't even know what the commercial is, there's people running through fields, or flying kites, or swimming in the ocean. Like, that is the greatest disease ever! How do you get that? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy! The schools now, it's all about self-esteem ...
1181 days ago
Cos this world swallows souls and when the blues unfold it gets cold silence burns holes you're going mad perhaps you always were but when things was good you just didn't care this is called irony when you most need to get up you got no energy time and time shit'll happen the dark shit's unwrapping but no-one's listening your mates are laughing your brethren's fucking and then you start hating your stomach starts churning and you mind starts turning. so smoke another draw it won't matter no more but the next day still feels sore rain taps on your window always did tho but you didn't hear it when things were so-so you're on your own now your little zone you were born alone and believe me you'll die alone weed becomes a chore you want the buzz back so you follow the others onto smack Just trying to stay positive. Feels nice and still good thing about brown is it always will it's easy, no-one blames you it's that world out there that's fucked you you're no less of a person and if ...
1192 days ago
These are the facts of life Did you know, that 1 out of 4 Americans has appeared on tv? Did you know, 61% of all hits on the internet are on sex-sites? Everyday 21 newborn babies will be given to the wrong parents The average person swallows 8 spiders in a year Cannabis is the most widely abused drug in the world The average person laughs 13 times a day Elvis was originally blond The average age of first intercourse is 15.3 years old The average erect penis is 5,2" long - and 4,2" circumcised Eskimoes use refrigerators to keep food from freezing 41% of all people take people with curly hair less seriously 20% of all females have had at least 1 homosexual experience Did you know, that there is no such thing as an anti-wrinkle-creme? This is who we are, this is what we do, this is what it is - the bare facts of the life we live 22% of the time, a pizza will arrive faster that an ambulance in Great Britain 96% of all women have at one time in their life faked an orgasm ...
1298 days ago
So it's my birthday and I'm out with some mates to celebrate when one of them asks why he doesn't pull and what he should do, my response is thus - oi the reason girls flirt is to work out their worth whereas men just hanker for the panky to happen retain this fact i'm hammering, this fact is gonna matter what little you think you're letting by her sly she senses you're near her and smells your desire the general rule of mine, her intellect will be higher your task is to make her notice you fast but hanker when you don't close in after she knows she can get most dudes but she mustn't know about you if you screw this all up and then lose all your cool thats when she ends up liking you as a friend you're not playing at hard to get, you're playing at not getting a hard-on yet and you wanna know what, listen.. the answer is to get close enough to her but listen the next thing you just totally blank her you think i'm fucking mad don't ya but i don't shag on my own get somewhere close to ...
1341 days ago
Many years ago a strange comet appeared in the sky. It struck the Earth and out of the crater crawled a child. From nearby woods came a mysterious and enchanted people, they took the child as their own and taught him the ways of the forest, but soon it was time for him to leave. An hour later he was bitten by a monkey. As he tried to fight the effects of the monkey venom he lost his footing and stumbled into a swamp of toxic waste. When he emerged he had gained special powers. From that moment on he was able to fight off the most ferocious monkey attack and do kung fu. Armed with his new skills he spent his time fighting the forces of evil. Many came to destroy him but he could not be defeated, so they hit him with a car. Left for dead scientists took his body to a secret lab and rebuilt him using old fridge parts. He promptly escaped and disappeared underground. His whereabouts remained unknown...that is until now... So there goes Porter off into the night there goes ...
